Bright Geckos

I have always been a nature lover. My hands in the dirts - worms, frogs, penny toads. My favorite in Minnesota were the black and yellow spotted salamanders. I loved how they felt.

I surprised some when I was a teacher w/ the salamander someone passed on to me as well as herbit crabs and bunnies. They thought I was too prissy for those things. They should see me now!

I think these are some of the most beautiful lizards I've seen, that's not saying much coming from Las Vegas where pretty much everything was brown (even our cardinals!).

We were house sitting and spent some time following this guy around. I've not seen one of these pretty things around our house. That's good, as our cats would probably be playing ping pong with them and then India and I would spend the rest of the day trying to resue it and nurse it back to health. Ahh, gotta love nature!

Being a better mom

This piggy backs to “Enjoying Life.” I find myself pulled in many directions, and often by my own will or mind. Each time I do, I notice things are tense with India. One of the major reasons I moved to Hawaii was to enjoy nature and focused time with India. When I start working in my on-line store or on face book or doing some research for a new lotion or potion, I find myself being impatient and ineffective with India. She wants some time from me and I just want her to play by herself. And she does, she plays really well by herself. The timing of all of this just isn’t always perfect, or is it? I don’t feel I’m being a good mom as I’m reading a post from FB or a friend’s blog and India wants something from me and I put her off or am impatient. I feel that I should always speak gently to her and never feel frustrated or pulled. If I didn’t have a computer, would be having this battle? I hear my perfectionism creeping in here. Ugh! One of my friends is the MOST free-flowing person I’ve ever met. She blows w/ the breeze and thinks almost all of it is just wonderful. She’s not demanding or difficult at all (except when the breeze blows her by 1 ½ late…). She seems very present and content. She definitely is a model for me. She’s present with her children and I think that’s where I’m annoyed with myself, when I’m not present with India. I can tend to snap, and that’s just ugly. Yes, I know, I’m human, and I’d like to be a kinder human. I wonder/wish I would/could save my computer time for naptime. I love my morning Facebook and tea… Hmmm, how do you feel about this topic and how do you deal with it in your life?

Burnt Toast

My mom always ate the burnt toast in our family. This is back when the electric toaster still occassionally (or regularly) burnt the toast – we’ve come a long way since then. She acted like she liked it. She also ate the burnt cookies and even burnt pop corn. I faintly recall her saying that she “likes the burnt ones.” I have to say that hardly anything burns anymore these days. Only if I broil – it takes too long to sit there and wait for it and yet, if I get involved in one more task, it usually burns. We don’t have a toaster her, actually, very few electrical appliances. We don’t have any that heat – that takes a lot of electricity and we live “off grid,” so we rely on solar panals and car batteries for our energy. It works well if you don’t plug in any heating appliance. I make our toast in the iron skillet (I used to use the broiler – see above). I spread coconut oil on both sides and toast. It’s so yummy. Well, one side of one piece was burnt. I knew who was going to be eating that. India said she wanted eggs and toast. I LOVE over easy eggs on toast. I put the burnt side down and put two soft eggs on top. I had to make her more Dandyblend “coffee” and then get her a fork. Then I sat down to enjoy one of my favorite breakfasts. It wasn’t until about the 5^th bite that I remembered my toast was burnt. It actually was good, I think it added more flavor to my meal. I might actually like burnt toast too.

A dear friend lost her mother about 14 years ago and she remenices about what she remembers and loves about her mother. I am so fortunate to still have mine. It doesn’t mean I don’t remenice any less. Burnt toast will always remind me of my mother, in a very good way. I love you mom! 

Enjoying Life

A few weeks ago I was at a park and one of the mother’s was overwhelmed with all that she had on her plate. She had some childcare, but was accommodating the sitter, her friend she was sharing sitting with and none of it was working out for her. Finally she admitted that she’s just not good at house keeping. I kept playing the conversation over in my mind. I believed as a mother, staying home with my daughter I should be able to run a tight ship. Keep the house cleaned and organized, the fridge full, dishes washed, meals prepared, laundry washed/folded/put away, child and self cleaned and clothed and well rested – not to mention keeping in touch with friends and family and all the other little things I’ve thrown in there. I used to love to spend hours cleaning out cupboards and closets and reorganizing them. There is no such time in my life anymore. I started to come to the conclusion that I’m not good at “keeping house” with a child to care for at the same time. I tried on that thought several times that day and found a relief admitting that. Yes, I am not good at keeping house the way I would like it kept. Yes, that feels good to admit that and release the burden of trying to fight against it. I had a wonderfully releasing dream that night about moving on to a different life/space. Others were moving to, they were just not at peace with it or ready to embrace it as I was. I awoke the next morning with the vision of living my life in Hawaii with joy and having as much fun as possible. How long will I get to have India home with me and how long will we get to enjoy nature, our friends and the beach? None of us actually knows. Why be upset about my less than organized house, it wasn’t getting anymore organized that way. I might as well still have a less than organized house AND be enjoying the beach and all the fun I can. It may not be that way tomorrow…who wants regrets.

I’m still reminding myself of my new life’s mission, today wasn’t so fun or easy. I can try again after nap or after dinner or tomorrow. I don’t have to be perfect at any of this. Just do my best and enjoy the ride/journey as much as possible. So, if you see me getting too serious, ask me when I was last at the beach or what is currently bringing me joy. That should help adjust my focus.